New Line of Conducting Batons
It has come to my attention recently that there are certain composers whose music is inherently more suitable for more “feminine” conductors at its helm, whereas other more masculine and less fluffy composers’ works should only be conducted by men.
This is a serious issue for the world of classical music, and its implications are vast and potentially terrifying. Therefore, at the suggestion and under the inspiration of female “conductor” and thus, obviously, fluffy-music specialist Liz Garnett, I have begun work on an entire line of batons to assist inadequately gender-matched conductors in their efforts to conduct works of the composers for whose music they are not naturally inclined to be proficient.
The prototype for the first in this line: the Debussy:
What do you think? Gentlemen, will this help you to Get Your Girly On when you go knock around the Nocturnes?