New Line of Conducting Batons

It has come to my attention recently that there are certain composers whose music is inherently more suitable for more “feminine” conductors at its helm, whereas other more masculine and less fluffy composers’ works should only be conducted by men.

This is a serious issue for the world of classical music, and its implications are vast and potentially terrifying. Therefore, at the suggestion and under the inspiration of female “conductor” and thus, obviously, fluffy-music specialist Liz Garnett, I have begun work on an entire line of batons to assist inadequately gender-matched conductors in their efforts to conduct works of the composers for whose music they are not naturally inclined to be proficient.

The prototype for the first in this line: the Debussy:

pink baton


What do you think? Gentlemen, will this help you to Get Your Girly On when you go knock around the Nocturnes?


  • Katyjay

    Are you taking mail order for the sparkly baton?

    Could you do one in PINK!! rather than just (pink), please?

    • chickwithastick

      LOL! Unfortunately, I’m not, this was somewhat of an April-Foolish diversion from the actual writing of my thesis I should have been doing yesterday afternoon. I happened to have an old beater baton I hate and a bottle of pink glitter nail polish, and Liz’s comment about pink sparkly batons inspired me. I have another friend who asked for one in purple, with a lace bow and some sticky-jewels, but I’d have to hit the craft store to manage anything further

      I also promised some of my friends “The Bruckner,” which would be very serious and weighty…but that will take some effort; as I told them, the challenge will be to make it weighty enough for the music but not too heavy for our feminine little arms, you know? 😉

      Glad you liked it! I’d say, find yourself a baton, some glitter glue, ribbons and lace, and little jewels and go for it! 🙂

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  • Lilly Valore


    Is this Paton up for ordering or grabs this would be the perfect gift for a conductor I know

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